Ever since it became painfully clear that Hillary is fighting a losing battle against Barack Obama (who picked up Senor Awesome's endorsement early in the primaries), Senor Awesome has been thinking of how we could all pitch in together to make sure that Hillary, nevertheless, still gets to play an important role on November 4th. And, no, Senor Awesome is not going to suggest that Hil be picked as Barack's VP.
Like all great ideas, the solution to giving Hil an appropriate consolation prize came to Senor Awesome while he was drinking/bullshitting with his equally (well, not quite equally) awesome friends. My friend Chris raised an interesting historical question. Who has been the subject of the most masturbation fantasies in a single day? Chris posed Jenna Jameson and Pam Anderson as possible choices, but Senor Awesome disagrees, as he feels that there is simply too much competition for men's attention in the internet era for any one woman to make up any significant portion of a given day's jack-off source material. He feels it is more likely that Marilyn Monroe or some other dead chick holds the record.
But, since there has never (as far as we are aware) been a concerted effort among men to all jack off thinking about the same person on one day, this is a record that could easily be beaten. Which leads us to Hillary. Now, Senor Awesome is aware that Hil is not most men's cup of tea. And to the extent Senor Awesome would actually have sex with Hil, it would purely be for the incredile awesomeness of the story, but let's all cut her a break on November 4. Please spread the word to your male friends and ask them to take the pledge! Senor Awesome and Hil are depending on you!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
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